London, 1780. Sir Morosus, a rich bachelor and retired admiral, lives an isolated life in his London home. He cannot stand people. He cannot stand noise, which he attributes to a cannonfire mishap and does not want to see anyone except his barber and his housekeeper. The barber wants him to marry and the housekeeper wants to be his wife. But Sir Morosus believes he is too old and set in his ways; above all, he cannot risk having a woman in the house – at least not the talkative housekeeper who already disturbs his peace and his ears. Besides:
“A silent woman! Ha! A sea without salt?
A ship without rats? A silent woman
can only be found in a churchyard …”

Unexpectedly, his nephew and heir, Henry, arrives. Sir Morosus has believed him lost forever. His happiness is short-lived when Henry introduces his companions – a group of Italian opera singers who have traveled to England to seek work. Sir Morosus learns that Henry has also become an opera singer and he demands his resignation from this unworthy profession:
“Opera! Rather the noise in the galleys
than these modern ear aches that they call opera.
Let them trill and scream ’til their throats explode …
I will not listen to it. .. !”

He orders Henry, threatening his disinheritance, to leave his wife, the opera singer Aminta. To underline the seriousness of his intentions, he requests his barber to bring him “a silent woman” whom he will marry the next day.

The singers feel insulted and humiliated. Aminta begs Henry to abandon her and the company in order to retain his inheritance but Henry reassures her and his colleagues of his loyalty.

The barber conceives of a plan which will enable Henry to keep his wife and his claim and give them all the chance to wreak revenge on the old man for his churlishness; they agree.

The following day. Sir Morosus prepares for his proposed wedding. He will not listen to the house­keeper’s warnings.

The barber presents the bridegroom with a choice of three different candidates. From these, Sir Morosus chooses the shy, quiet Timida (who is, of course, Aminta in disguise). The Priest and the notary seal the marriage. Sailors and neighbors burst in with their congratulations. Finally, left alone with his wife, Sir Morosus’s happiness seems complete. However, she soon shows him another side to her unique character and turns into a screaming and hysterical fury. Sir Morosus is shattered.

As a savior in time of need, Henry arrives on cue. The distraught bridegroom promises absolute forgiveness and full restitution in return for the removal of this ranting woman. Henry agrees to help and sends the exhausted Morosus to bed.

As Henry and Aminta embrace, Sir Morosus’s voice is heard:
“Henry, can I sleep now? Do you hold her fast?”
“Yes, Uncle, all night long.”
“ls she quiet now?”
“Yes, she is quiet, not a breath from her lips.
She cannot move. I hold her.”

The next day. Aminta and her friends, with all their artistry and craft, continue to tease and provoke Sir Morosus. His quiet home is turned upside down. His ears ache from all their singing and noise.

All is chaos until the barber brings the Chief Justice who can officiate the divorce. Sir Morosus is relieved to regain his freedom.

The trick is executed and they can all drop their disguises. Sir Morosus understands that he has been duped and the victim of a hoax, but can only laugh at his foolishness and forgive their cruel treatment.

They are all reconciled. Henry keeps both his wife and his inheritance (the barber will get his cut), and the old Admiral once again has his silence.
“How beautiful is the music –
but most beautiful when it stops!
How wonderful is a young, silent woman –
but most wonderful when she belongs to someone else!
How splendid is Life – but most splendid
if one is not a fool, and knows how to live it… “